When I was in University I had a chip on my shoulder, because I was really smart, but I was not terribly quick, so people mistook that as stupid, and they treated me as such. On a personal level people had a problem with me. The better I did, the more of a problem people had. And I was confused.
I discovered a philosophy for living called Stoicism. Basically Stoicism says you should know what you can control and what you can’t control. It doesn’t matter what other people think. Decide not to be bothered by other people. I can do anything I want and I don’t have to ask other peoples opinion or permission.
So now I live in Finland, have a wonderful family, have had a film shown in the New York Metropolitan Museum of Fine Art I GO DOWN , and I facilitate a magnificent writing group in Helsinki. My life is not complete, of course, but it is the road that counts, as Lao Tzu would say, and I have Epictetus to thank for my determination and strength.
There are, of course, a lot of people out there who dissed me in the past who I would like to see suffer now, but I hope my living well is enough misery for them. I figure people who need to bring me down to bolster their sense of self have a pretty lousy value system and they are miserable enough without my direct intervention. They are not my problem anyway unless they choose to make themselves my problem. Of course, it is not that easy. I hated someone for years after they tried to destroy my life. I would wake up in cold sweats shaking in anger. And one day I wrote a song about them. I don’t worry so much about them any more. I took what I could get from them, and it is a great song.
In this blog I will be posting some of my creative work like that, as well as try to work out what life is about. If anyone knows they can let me know. When I find out the meaning to life I promise to share.