I am a monster! I am that which other people define themselves against. I exist so other people can say, “At least my life is not as miserable as his.” and they can feel better about themselves. I am the necessary pariah.
But that’s not me talking. That’s what other people think. Not everybody all the time, but the attitude does exist and it has affected my life. And the people who have the attitude are the real monsters. And I buy into it sometimes. And only in believing in my detractors do I become the monster I am afraid of being. So I will struggle to be all that I can be, which isn’t easy, but who said life was easy, and why should I be left staring into the abyss. I am certainly better than that. That being said, I can leave my detractors to their own devices and do my own thing.
What am I? I am what I am. I am undefinable. At least part of me is, a small part, a kernel deep inside me, and it is that part which yearns, which pushes me forward.
I am light. I am a lion. I am a writer, artist, filmmaker, musician and a computer guy. And a father. And numerous other things.
And I am dust.